If you follow me then you’ll know two things. Number 1- I have two chronic illnesses, and 2- I am rubbish at blogging consistently. I try to stick to a blogging schedule and routine but I find it so hard to stick to it because of my health issues. I truly commend all you spoonies out there who blog consistently and even blog for a living because I couldn’t do it. I really admire you all.
The thing is, chronic illnesses are very unpredictable. It’s hard to plan things because you could be feeling fine one minute and feel terrible the next, at least that’s what it’s like for me. I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome so I really suffer with energy and pain making most things difficult to do. Recently, I’ve been in more pain than usual so I’ve been taking my strong painkillers and that makes doing anything where I have to use my brain and concentrate practically impossible! And then on days where my M.E is flaring up I have to spend my days in bed resting or sleeping and blogging is the last thing I am able to do.
Ive started using a planner to organise things I need to do and remember like pick up medications but I’ve started using it loosely and what I mean by that is I plan my days out but if I can’t complete the task then I just move it to the next day and try again then. It’s the same for blogging. I try to publish a new post every Tuesday and Friday but if I can’t manage that then I just wait for the next upload day and try not to beat myself up.
I also find it hard to sit down and concentrate for a long period of time especially when it comes to writing. I have brain fog and it really hits me hard somedays. I remember before I was diagnosed I was doing my A-Levels and I thought there was something really wrong with me or I was just suddenly stupid because I would sit down and stare at the same page for hours and nothing would go in. I spend so many hours crying and in the end I actually failed both my A-Levels and that broke my heart. Turns out that’s brain fog and once I was diagnosed everything just made sense. For me, brain fog really really makes blogging hard. On a good day I’ll plan to write a post and I’ll just end up sitting in front of a blank screen and not being able to write a single sentence. If you have a chronic illness let me know if the same thing happens to you.
My notes on my phone and my drafts on WordPress are filled with blog titles and bullet points ready to write a post whenever I can. If a stranger read them they wouldn’t have a clue what I was on about and would probably think I’m crazy but I just jot down whatever comes to mind. Sometimes I’ll add to those bullet points for weeks before I even get close to writing a proper post. I find it really helpful to just write down any thought I have regarding a post. Sometimes I look back and think “what the Hell was I thinking when I said that? That doesn’t make sense”, and that’s ok because it’s a draft. I go back and fix almost everything I write until it’s good enough to post.
I know a lot of spoonies like to bulk write whenever they feel well and that’s something I do too. I usually have my bursts of energy and inspiration before bed so that’s when I get my phone out and write whatever comes to mind and get as much out as I can.
Another thing I wanted to touch on is typos and general errors. I make so many errors blogging and it can be frustrating sometimes because I won’t notices for ages. But do you know what? Blogging should be fun and who cares if you make a grammatical error or you forget to add an image to your post? For me blogging is just a fun hobby I’ve been doing on and off for almost 5 years now and I try not to take it too seriously and beat myself up over little mistakes.
Now I’ve learnt to just go with the flow a bit more. I try not to get down because I wasn’t able to write a post for 2 weeks straight and I just write whenever I feel well enough to. I think most of us with chronic illness beat ourselves up too much and that ultimately makes our illness worse.